breaking the silence
Yikes — I can hardly believe it’s been over two years since my last post. clearly, this blog hasn’t been a priority for me. it’d be simple enough for me to just throw out an easy cliché like “I’ve been too busy living life,” but at this point in my existence, that’d just be lazy writing.
it’s time to come to terms with myself that there’s more to it than that.
listen, y’all. I’ve often felt the desire to post about my life these last couple years. but since I started this site as a “travel blog,” of sorts, I think I ended up boxing my writing on here to only being about that topic, when all I truly wanted was to share my life with the people I care about.
but y’know what? Brad (whether he’s assuming a Comrade prefix or not) isn’t just a traveler. ironically, through my adventures to foreign locales, I’ve come to realize that there’s way more to a full life than constantly feeling the desire to escape and explore new places — because Travel Is No Cure for the Mind, ya hear?
besides that, though, I must admit that there’s also this looming sense of dread, a fear of writing something that… well… disappoints, I suppose. maybe the words that come out of me don’t end up enriching the reader in a beneficial way, or maybe the things I say are just “too much” or too “out there” for most people to “get” or simply even empathize with…
! as the words flow out of my fingertips, I mentally take a step back and realize how melodramatic that sounds.
yep, I’ve got quite the INFJ-type personality, and I’m tired of apologizing for my sensitivity and emotions. things I still need to remind myself include: 1) I’m not a victim; 2) the only person I can control is myself; 3) self-expression is vital to me; 4) connection is a core human need; 5) be the change you wish to see in the world, and so on.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi
okay, so that elusive point I’m trying to find here? essentially, I should write whatever I feel like writing, regardless of what I think any potential readers might possibly “think” or “expect” from me.
< be vulnerable, buddy. let down your guard. it's healthy and therapeutic, and by healing yourself and sharing your story, you can help others as well. >
even at 29, I’m still working through those pesky feelings of being inadequate or not enough. but to hell with it, this is my personal website. I’m tired of holding back and living in an unhelpful mental state of feeling fear about fully giving myself to the world. one might say I’ve been “incubating” a new direction for my site, and I’m finally starting to feel ready to begin that process of transformation.
stay tuned, my friends —
updates are coming. <3
Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.
I’m glad to hear that you’re coming to terms with all of the things in your head that tell you no. You’re an extremely strong force of nature; with a strong capacity to help people change and see their better selves. I can’t wait to see and read the thoughts that come out of your head.